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There is only one answer to anything about "Twilight":
VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE.
Alex Louis Armstrong sparkles. Sailor Moon sparkles. Barbie sparkles.
Vampires do not sparkle, unless they're ALSO GOING UP IN FLAMES at that point. Which would be a good end for that stalkerboy anyway. He thinks he's a VAMPIRE? He looks like some high-school stoner who spent the last three days on uppers to finish studying for a quiz. He can't even shave right. Vampires don't look like THAT, they look like THIS. Or like THIS. Or maybe like THIS or if you like them younger like THIS. Or even like THIS or like THIS if you're old-school. But definitely not like THAT.
One of the few things I'm minorly bitter about is that Digital Knight never even earned out, and yet all these other vampire/werewolf/wierdstuff mystery/adventure things took off, to the point that if I re-issue DK I have no doubt people will be talking about how I was just ripping of show X, Y, or book series Z, when the original concepts that generated the first three Jason stories came to me in the late 70s and the first story was written in the mid-to-late-80s. The shows/concepts I *was* ripping off, er, being inspired by, are things most of the modern group haven't heard of (Fred Saberhagen's Dracula series, Kolchak the Night Stalker, Chelsea-Quinn Yarbro's Saint-Germain Chronicles, and a little bit of MacGyver and Nero Wolfe.)
But at least none of those involved a supposedly-romantic vampire kid who was actually showing all the signs of being an abusive controlling stalkerboy, following some co-dependent bimbo.
There is only one answer to anything about "Twilight":
VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE.
Alex Louis Armstrong sparkles. Sailor Moon sparkles. Barbie sparkles.
Vampires do not sparkle, unless they're ALSO GOING UP IN FLAMES at that point. Which would be a good end for that stalkerboy anyway. He thinks he's a VAMPIRE? He looks like some high-school stoner who spent the last three days on uppers to finish studying for a quiz. He can't even shave right. Vampires don't look like THAT, they look like THIS. Or like THIS. Or maybe like THIS or if you like them younger like THIS. Or even like THIS or like THIS if you're old-school. But definitely not like THAT.
One of the few things I'm minorly bitter about is that Digital Knight never even earned out, and yet all these other vampire/werewolf/wierdstuff mystery/adventure things took off, to the point that if I re-issue DK I have no doubt people will be talking about how I was just ripping of show X, Y, or book series Z, when the original concepts that generated the first three Jason stories came to me in the late 70s and the first story was written in the mid-to-late-80s. The shows/concepts I *was* ripping off, er, being inspired by, are things most of the modern group haven't heard of (Fred Saberhagen's Dracula series, Kolchak the Night Stalker, Chelsea-Quinn Yarbro's Saint-Germain Chronicles, and a little bit of MacGyver and Nero Wolfe.)
But at least none of those involved a supposedly-romantic vampire kid who was actually showing all the signs of being an abusive controlling stalkerboy, following some co-dependent bimbo.
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-01 02:31 pm (UTC)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1glNuQiE77E
no subject
Date: 2010-07-01 03:20 pm (UTC)Also: everyone gazing yearningly at each other all the time.
N.B.: Some things are not necessarily better as shoujo manga.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-01 03:26 pm (UTC)Right there with ya.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-01 04:08 pm (UTC)(Okay, Jackie Chan Adventures totally mocked that.)
Twilight's badly written and has a weird, wrong relationship or three. But I don't get the "never sparkle" thing. I like new twists to old creations.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-01 07:00 pm (UTC)You betcha! I've said that myself [tho when I said it, my statement was = 'vampires do not sparkle unless they've been doused in gasoline and set on fire'. ^_^]
It's Shorthand
Date: 2010-07-01 07:43 pm (UTC)They are 'romance vampires' turned up to 12, lacking almost any of the weaknesses that vampires have, and more strengths to it than any vampire ever before. In essence, they are Mary Sue vampires, and the whole 'sparkling in sunlight' bit is just the most silly bit of them, which makes an easy target.
As somebody put it once, becoming a Twilight vampire is like having to make a small bank loan, and getting your own country as a joining bonus.
We won't get into how weird and deeply wrong the interpersonal relationships are in that series. (aside from this line of course :)
-- Brett
no subject
Date: 2010-07-01 07:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-01 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-01 08:51 pm (UTC)Vampire. Bloodsucking Creature of the Night. Risen Corpse. This is not a Sparkly Thing.
Your question is like asking "Why not Highlander II" or "Why not the Star Wars Holiday Special".
no subject
Date: 2010-07-01 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-01 08:55 pm (UTC)"I think you meant HOT GLUE sparkles to your chest."
(I know someone who hot-glued a gem on his forehead so he could cosplay Skuld. No, I did not mis-speak the gender.)
We don't have any trouble repeating those jokes, because among all my friends only one of them reads the Twilight books, and we sort of avoid talking about it with him, sort of how you'd avoid talking about someone's Special Friend Bubba that he met in prison.
Re: It's Shorthand
Date: 2010-07-01 08:58 pm (UTC)I swear, parts of what I've heard sound like "Night Travels of the Elven Vampire", just with better proofreading and much better publicity.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-01 09:01 pm (UTC)OMG.
I have to show this to Kathleen. She was an X-men fan before she MET me (when she was 16).
no subject
Date: 2010-07-02 02:09 am (UTC)No... no... head is exploding instead.
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Date: 2010-07-02 10:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-02 12:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-02 12:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-02 03:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-07-02 05:02 pm (UTC)