The Wierd Questionnaire...

[seawasp]

Pointed to by anghara...

1 – Write the first sentence of a novel, short story, or book of the weird yet to be written.
  The room was dim, lit only by torches and candles that burned without melting; and whenever the thing at the desk chuckled, the flames flickered as though in terror.

2 – Without looking at your watch: what time is it?
  7:23

3 – Look at your watch. What time is it?
  I have no watch.

4 – How do you explain this — or these — discrepancy(ies) in time?
  Watches are passe'.

5 – Do you believe in meteorological predictions?
  Probabalistically, yes.

6 – Do you believe in astrological predictions?
  No.

7 – Do you gaze at the sky and stars by night?
  When I have the opportunity; I'm usually inside, and we're in an urban area so the stars are harder to see.

8 – What do you think of the sky and stars by night?
  Utsukushi subarashi....!

9 – What were you looking at before starting this questionnaire?
Livejournal. And my dinner.

10 – What do cathedrals, churches, mosques, shrines, synagogues, and other religious monuments inspire in you?
  Depends on individual instances. Some are gorgeous works of art, some are utilitarian meeting places, some are dumps.

11 – What would you have “seen” had you been blind?
  Nothing. That's rather the point of being blind.

12 – What would you want to see if you were blind?
Everything.

13 – Are you afraid?
As a general rule? No. There are a few specific things, yes.

14 – What of?
  Not being able to breathe; I'm an asthmatic. Also, losing my mental faculties. I could deal with losing my legs, one arm, an eye, etc., but my brain not working, that's bad.

15 – What is the last weird film you’ve seen?
  How do we define "weird"? By general standards, anything I watch is probably weird. Naruto Shippuden: The Movie, probably.

16 – Whom are you afraid of?
Individually? No one that I know of.

17 – Have you ever been lost?
Yes, several times.

18 – Do you believe in ghosts?
No.

19 – What is a ghost?
There are a number of descriptions in fiction. In fact, they're a delusion, born of associating coincidence and natural phenomena that the watcher can't immediately identify.

20 – At this very moment, what sound(s) can you hear, apart from the computer?
  Dishwasher, my wife and her friend talking, little girl playing with her toy laptop, my younger son talking, crackling paper.

21 – What is the most terrifying sound you’ve ever heard – for example, “the night was like the cry of a wolf”?
  A sound attributed to Bigfoot, if we're talking about those that I've actually heard. In a dream I heard a sound much more terrifying which was vaguely like the scraping sound from "The Galileo Seven" episode of TOS.

22 – Have you done something weird today or in the last few days?
This is my life.

23 – Have you ever been to confession?
No. I'm not Catholic.

24 – You’re at confession, so confess the unspeakable.
...
How can I confess if it cannot be spoken? I suppose I could use sign language. If I knew sign language.

25 –Without cheating: what is a “cabinet of curiosities”?
I've heard it used in a context indicating a large wardrobe-sized thing in a library which holds strange things that we might call "conversation pieces". Skulls, strange crystals, little artifacts, etc.

26 –Do you believe in redemption?
I redeemed some coupons the other day.

27 – Have you dreamed tonight?
Haven't gone to sleep yet, and I'm not a time traveller.

28 – Do you remember your dreams?
Not very often these days.

29 – What was your last dream?
Don't remember it.

30 – What does fog make you think of?
These days? Choosing the proper wavelength of light to penetrate it most effectively.

31 – Do you believe in animals that don’t exist?
Er, what? If it doesn't exist (as opposed to other people SAYING it doesn't exist) only someone of questionable sanity would believe in it.

32 – What do you see on the walls of the room where you are?
  Childrens's drawings, one of my wife's paintings, some dents and scratches, green paint, lots of dark cherry cabinets, light switches and outlets, and a little hanging tapestry-thing made with printed photos.

33 – If you became a magician, what would be the first thing you’d do?
As in actually casting magic? I guess the first thing I'd do is... figure out what I *could* do.

34 – What is a madman?
Someone who believes things that are contrary to reality, despite evidence against their beliefs, or one who is incapable of discriminating between reality and fantasy.

35 – Are you mad?
No, just full.

36 – Do you believe in the existence of secret societies?
I'm sure there are some societies that TRY to stay secret.

37 – What was the last weird book you read?
Charles Stross, _The Atrocity Archives_

38 – Would you like to live in a castle?
If someone else was paying all the bills, and I got to remodel it to modern comfort standards.

39 – Have you seen something weird today?
I have a poodle.

40 – What is the weirdest film you’ve ever seen?
Ever? Hard to say. Jacob's Ladder, maybe.

41 – Would you like to live in an abandoned train station?
See entry under "castle". I'd also like to redecorate it like Torchwood.

42 – Can you see the future?
Not see, merely predict.

43 – Have you considered living abroad?
Yes.

44 – Where?
New Zealand.

45 – Why?
I don't like the direction my country's been going. OTOH, I have no job prospects there, and leaving here means I'm giving up.

46 – What is the weirdest film you’ve ever owned?
Godzilla: Final Wars

47 – Would you liked to have lived in a vicarage?
To have lived there? Eh. It's fairly irrelevant where I've been.

48 – What is the weirdest book you’ve ever read?
Illuminatus! by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson.

49 – Which do you like better, globes or hourglasses?
Globes. Hourglasses break too easily. Unless the hourglass is a Time-Turner, I'll take that.

50 – Which do you like better, antique magnifying glasses or bladed weapons?
  Antique bladed weaponized magnifying glasses.

51 – What, in all likelihood, lies in the depths of Loch Ness?
Water, silt, peat tannin, fish, and possibly something larger, but probably not.

52 – Do you like taxidermied animals?
Er, depends on the situation. I don't think I'd like to see my poodle taxidermied.

53 – Do you like walking in the rain?
Gods, no.

54 – What goes on in tunnels?
Many things. About as many as go on OUTSIDE of the tunnels.

55 – What do you look at when you look away from this questionnaire?
My wife, the wall, my cup, etc.

56 – What does this famous line inspire in you: “And when he had crossed the bridge, the phantoms came to meet him.”?
  It reminds me of the most awesome scene in comics: "He stood alone at Gjallarbru."

57 – Without cheating: where is that famous line from?
  Not a clue.

58 – Do you like walking in graveyards or the woods by night?
  "like walking" ... not in general at all. Sometimes I walk for exercise, but to make it less boring I need something like earphones playing music.

58 – Write the last line of a novel, short story, or book of the weird yet to be written.
  "He will remember what he can, but forget what he must," Verne said, softly, "and wake with only a memory of seeing with the eyes of God."

59 – Without looking at your watch: what time is it?
  8:10pm

60 – Look at your watch. What time is it?
  I don't have a watch!